10. S T U C K



For the last week and a half I have been stuck between 201 and 203 lbs. I was beginning to be really discouraged. I have been working really hard and not seeing the results that should be associated with the amount of work that I have been putting in. It was really discouraging and at some point in the the last week I wanted to give up. I didn’t think that the work was worth it until I remembered that there was a point in time where I didn’t think that 201 was even possible.

Now here I am at 201 complaining about the weight loss process is not moving fast enough. It took me so long to get here, I can’t rush the process. I still have a long ways to go, but I’ve made it this far. I can do it, I know that I can make it.

If anyone is actually reading this, know that you have the ability to overcome.

Until next time,



8: Apps can help



So, I’ve been using a few apps to help me keep track of my journey and to also motivate me. I use them to keep track of what I’m eating, motivate me, and to give me work outs. I think that the use of apps have been instrumental in my weight loss journey.

Apps that I use:

  • My Fitness Pal
    • I track my meals on this. It also takes information from some of the other apps I used to make an informed guesstimate at the amount of calories that I should be consuming.
  • Google Fit
    • It came with my phone. I think it tracks my steps
  • 8 Fit
    • I use this for workouts and they also have meal plans, I use it more for the workouts
  • My 24
    • This is the app associated with my gym. I use it to track how often I’m getting in the gym and it sometimes has challenges that can be motivational
  • Polar Flow
    • I use the Polar watch  and heart rate monitor to track my workouts and calories burned.

I’m really liking this combination of apps. It seems to be working for. I particular like the fact that I can sync most of these apps with each other (8Fit is the only exception 😦 ). I will continue using them until they stop working for me or I find something that I like more.

Until later,

Laur (elLE)

6. So… it’s been a while


Hiya! I haven’t written on this blog in a while. I’m sorry?

The last few months have been rollercoaster-esque. I was on vacation for most of the month of December. With vacation came not eating healthy and definitely not working out more than the walk from my hotel room to the uber that was waiting for me. 😦

When I got back, it was really hard to get back into the groove of things. I also gained most (if not all) of the weight that I had lost. This was completely my fault because I had the option of working out in several of the places that I visited, but made a conscious decision to pig out. In my pigging out I learned a valuable lesson, DON’T and IT’S NOT WORTH IT!

It has been so much harder to get back to the progress that I had initially made. It’s frustrating because I know how long it took me to get there the first time. Having to do it again, UGHHH!!! But, I will persevere it is more than worth it and I know that I can do this.

So, although it’s been a while, the journey continues and progress is the goal.

Until next time,


5: struggles in finding a personal trainer



So I mentioned in a previous blog that I was really willing to put my money where my mouth is in terms of this fitness journey. I was prepared to hire a personal trainer to help me through this process and also be there as a sort of guide and support system. While I may still want to look into a trainer in the near future, it does not seem to be in the plans for now.

A few months ago, I randomly overheard a man talking to the cashier at Trader Joes about his job as a personal trainer, I was immediately intrigued. We happened to walk out of the store at the same time and also be parked near one another, so I did the only rational thing, I approached him. We had a fairly quick conversation and I took down his information and promised to text. That same night I messaged him and got a bit more information about his style of training. He seemed to be a good fit and we started discussing our schedules and find an hour that could possibly work for both of us. At the end of this process, he tells me, “You know what I know a guy who might be a better and more consistent fit for your training needs.” I was at first a bit disheartened because I was already gungho  about working out with him, but I thought if this new person can help me, why not. He gave me the new guys contact information and I have never spoken to him again.

When I first began to converse with this new potential trainer, things seemed to be going well. He told me about his style of training, his qualifications, and also that he runs a business based on personal training so he was not really attached to any gyms. That was okay with me as I had a membership to a gym — that I had not been actively using. We set a start date and he sent me his contract. Due to some changes at work, I had to tell him that the hours we had previously set up would no longer work for me and that I would contact him when my schedule was a bit more regular.

Fast forward a month, I have signed the contract, am ready to meet with this guy, but something keeps telling that I should hold off on handing this stranger 1400 of my hard earned dollars (this is for a three month contract). A few hours before I am set to meet him, a friend and I decide to look up his company — something I should have done a long time ago. The way this man spoke, his company was very well established and he has a slew of clientele. In doing a google search for the company name we find the site and after some digging we found his instagram page.

I was expecting to see some before and after pictures of the people that he had worked with or some of his workouts, like most fitness instagram pages. His page was filled with motivational quotes and it took us going more than 80 weeks deep into his pictures to find a before and after picture. When I clicked on the person’s name, she credited her fitness journey to another trainer, his name was nowhere to be found on her page.

I decided to call him out on the fact that he did not have any results posted or any testimonials. For person who has been in this business for more the 20, pushing 30 years, I was expecting more. He quickly became defensive and was yelling at me – via text- about that not being the most important aspect of a personal trainer’s bio. While I agree, to some extent, as person who had previously been bragging about all of the people you have trained and all of the results that you have gotten and how this is something you have been doing for a living, I would think you would have a bit more to show for the work you’ve put in.

This is not to say that all trainers should have extensive lists of testimonials or an instagram page filled with before and afters. In this situation, the was this particular trainer presented himself, there should have been more available.

What I learned in this situation is that it is important check out the information that a trainer is giving you, especially if they are not affiliated with a gym.

Until next time,


4:when people tell me I need to lose weight



People have a tendency to state the obvious. During a category three hurricane, you might find those idiots that post, “It’s raining so hard outside.” NO DUH, Sherlock!

I don’t know if you can tell, but that ish irks the sugar and spice out of me. I particularly despise when people do that in terms of my weight, especially if it is someone who has known me for a while. He or she should know better.

Here is what goes through my mind when someone says tells me that I’ve gained weight, or that I need to lose weight:

Person: elLE, you’ve put on some weight. You should really start exercising again.


Me (out loud): Really?

Me (in my mind): HOW DARE YOU?…

(goes on mental rant for 10 minutes, but never says anything out loud)

Even though I have never been bold enough to actively flip out on someone for stinking their nose on my scale, the fact that people believe that they can make a comment is annoying.

I have always interpreted these comments as: elLE, you are not good enough as you are, you need to change in order for you to be acceptable in [insert name here]’s sight. Which is great for my self-esteem, as you can imagine (please read this with every ounce of sarcasm that I dipped it in).

A battle with weight is not solely a physical war with the scale and food, it is also very much emotional. Adding to my already existing emotional turmoil, does a lot more harm than good.

The gist of this is: before commenting on someone’s struggle, check your intentions and how your message can be perceived.

Until next time,


3: Making this happen



In my first two posts, I kind of explained why I was doing this and what I was expecting from this journey, but have not really touched on how I’m going to be making this thing happen.

I have come to the realization that my diet and barely there exercise routine are not conducive to my goal of losing  weight. What am I going to do about that? What’s the plan?

I have decide to incorporate better eating habits and also start working out. It sounds simple right?! If you eat right and exercise, you’ll lose weight, build muscle, and achieve weight loss goals. While the strategy to achieving my goal is simple, what makes it complex / puts a kink in it is the fact that these things have to be done consistently in order to get the results that you seek. Consistency is key.

This same consistency that is the key to getting the results that I so desire, that I long for, is what has been missing from my plans this whole time. There have been periods of time in my life where I have worked out daily, but had a horrible diet. Periods where I ate really well but forgot the meaning of exercise. Even times when I have managed to do both well. The issue with all of these different episodes is that my motivation quickly wavered and I became complacent.

I am tired of being complacent. I’m tired of looking in the mirror, not liking what I see and doing absolutely nothing to change it. My time for change has come and I will be making something happen.

I have decided to hire a personal trainer, I’m still on the hunt for one, but I’ve set aside my pennies and am financially ready to make the commitment. I also want to see a nutritionist. I want to create a meal plan that is not necessarily calorie focused, but rather one that makes certain that I am meeting my daily nutritional needs.

As for right now, I beginning slowly. I’ve started being a little more conscious of what is going into my mouth and not eating as late. I have not yet begun a solo work out regimen, but that is soon to come.

Until next time,


1: Hi



So, I’m actually doing it. I’m getting the process started. I’m moving the pieces, making things happen, getting the show on the road… I think I’ve run out of phrases.

Today, I’m taking my first step into my fitness journey. I’ve decided to embark on this grand adventure, that will suck hardcore at times, because I have found that I am no longer comfortable with my appearance. After weeks of looking in the mirror and gradually seeing my cheeks getting bigger and my stomach following gravity’s pull, I decided that I want to make a change and that I will actually document this journey. My documenting this experience is really just for me, so that I can have something to look back on. I want to keep a running log of my thoughts, feelings, struggles, and victories.

I guess I should get started with the nitty-gritty of it. I am a 5 foot nothing 25 year old, who this morning weighed in at 224 lbs. It took a bit out of me to actually type out my weight. While I’ve seen it on the scale and have also thought about the number, typing it out made it official. I really had to pause for a bit and really look at that number, this is the biggest that I have EVER been in life. I weigh the same as an average male panda bear.

How did I allow myself to get here? 

In all honesty, I don’t know. Maybe I do, but I am not yet at the point of thinking about it. My main focus right now is doing something to change it. Let’s get started on this voyage to a healthier and happier me.